Bridget Fonda's Theory About How Coughing Gets You Higher(As Told To Robert Deniro)

"The beats make me falling asleep/I keep falling/But never falling six feet deep/I'm out for presidents to represent me/Say what?/I'm out for presidents to represent me/Say what?/I'm out for dead fucking presidents to represent me."
Wading in four feet of dirty water. Every step in the mud pulls my boots off with its vaccum suction design. This is all a dream of course. A pleasant one. I'm helplessly stuck and there's nothing I can do about it. That's alot better than being stuck and being able to do something about it.
Cause I won't.
I'll procrastinate and I much prefer to have no options. Give me a problem and let me sit in it. I love not having a choice. Freedom is overrated and so is the truth. Who could blame me for making nothing out of my life if I've been locked in a cage for 10 years? People would sympathize and expect nothing out of me. My life would be on pause and no one would be asking me to do a thing. Let the busy take care of everything. That's the way they seem to want it.
Nobody wants to be lied to. Why? What's the big deal? Lies are funny. There are people out there that want to destroy your happiness just for the sake of "the truth." Like as if the truth is the most important thing in the world and no matter how much misery it causes, it's still the best course of action. Why? Isn't happiness more important? What good is the truth if it fucks you up? We all have different perceptions on it anyway so when you get right down to it, there's no such thing.
Is the sky blue? I don't know. Someone told me so but that's about as much proof as I have. Some people are color blind and can't see blue at all so what's their truth? I grew up thinking my father was my father. He turned out not to be. So what? Someone else, some truth addict, might have lost complete control of themselves over that little cookie of info but why? Would their life had been any different? Would they have been safer?
Every now and then someone runs through a shopping mall or a school with a machine gun to let us know that the truth that most people believe in can be snuffed out at anytime. It's still chaos out there and thank god for the "crazies" to remind us. We should give them Nobel Peace Prizes.
Ever feel like you're in a box? Really. I feel like a rat that moves to the sound of a bell everyday, going from place to place in the same exact order as the day before. The 3 months in the hospital this year were infinitely more entertaing than the day to day existence I was going through before. At least I was surrounded by people who had no grasp on other people's realities and didn't give a fuck. Crazy people have their own subculture that's way more punk than punk. Hospitals, meds, disease, insane use of vocabulary, innovative use of body parts, stds, high tech machinery, psychological wisdom, no fear, the ability to use less teeth than others, lower sexual standards, brilliant deception, voices that make you shake with their heartfelt bellowing. But for some reason they all have horrible taste in movies. My entire time in the hospital, the only movies that people could get to me(contraband)were like, Vin Deisel movies and bad Jet Li movies. Like that was the zenith of film for them.
What hospitals need to do is pump their patients full of old Polanski movies and play the Melvins and the Swans at full volume all day until those uncultured peices of shit get their act together. Fucking entertain me. By the end of my stay I felt like all interest in anything had been erased. I haven't read a full book in the 4 months I've been out. I can't sit still long enough to read one.
Whatever. Like that matters in the slightest. I'm sure anybody gives a shit if Shawnie Brando has been catching up on his reading lately.
Can you still get a lobotomy?
How is Moxie still being made? Who the fuck buys it?
What ever happened to the blonde girl from the B52s?
Somebody help me out with these questions and more.
I wish I could show you guys this outfit I'm wearing in my head. It's pretty cool.