I was reading the Phoenix today and I came across an article about the last Woodstock, ya know the one with the burning, the raping, the 7 dollar bottles of water and Limp Bizkit breaking stuff? As I was reading it I was waiting for the two words that piss me off more than any two words in the English language and I wasn't disapointed. I just KNEW they were coming. If some old hippie is writing an article on his "glorious" generation and making us relive that same story over and over again, like as if Woodstock was the 60s version of Normandy and not just 3 days of bad music, bad drugs("don't take the brown acid, man."), and hairy pussy, you will eventually get around to this fossil degrading your generation by refering to you as...."Generation Entitlement."
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!
I hate that title more than I hate the 60s. These cryptic fucks make it seem like nobody in our generation has any idea what hard work is. Like we all just expect ipods to drop out of the sky like digital manna and jobs just get in the way of kegstands. Out of any generation since the sixties, our generation has had the LEAST handed to them. Try finding a job. Try buying a house and keeping it. Try to buy an innocent product like bottled water and NOT find out that it's tap water from Detroit. Try to spend your entire twenties under the shadow of some fucked up death trip. Try to reach twelve without being drugged by your family doctor for some imaginary "disease." Try to find a top 40 band that means anything. Try to turn on your television and not get mind raped by corporate advertisers trying to sell you hope in the form of a cheeseburger. Try seeing everyone you know addicted to SOMETHING. Inner city kids killing each other constantly. Eight years of a psychopath in office. A new president that talks BEAUTIFULLY but says and does NOTHING. Try to even THINK about retiring. Try to think about making ends meet. Try to fuck a stranger without a condom and not catch a disease that was started by some tye dyed hippie pig fuck.
"I wouldn't wear a tye dyed t-shirt unless it was soaked in the urine of Phil Collins and the blood of Jerry Garcia."
Kurt Cobain
You might be able to do all of those things, I know plenty of people my age who don't agree with a single thing I'm saying, but my point is that nobody I know feels entitled to anything. The hippies are the ones who invented all this entitlement bullshit in the first place. Fucking therapy, fucking drugs, fucking fucking, fucking me me me me me me me you selfish bloated relics you. The hippies took everything that their parents believed in and pissed on it. Their parents killed Hitler for fuck's sake. Saved the world from the hands of a maniac so their children could get stoned and fuck and call it enlightenment. I get stoned and fuck too but I've never once thought that I could levitate the fucking Pentagon or something. I mean, what the fuck? Am I the only one who gets sick when David Crosby gets on TV and starts getting all blubbery about the days before he started impregnating rich lesbians with his hairy semen? Why are these people even still around? Really! These people act like they actually did something! What did they do? They all turned into drug addicts or CEOs of the corporations that run your life. These are people who actually spit on soldiers coming back from war. We could talk about Vietnam for days, right, wrong, whatever, but think about what kind of person would do something like that. What, seeing their best friends head explode wasn't enough? Who would do that?
"Me, me, I know!"
"Yes, you with the tumor in your neck from some faulty baby boomer product."
You see what I'm saying? I started this rant cause the guy writing the article was talking about how the burning of Woodstock was this example of how our generation reacts so violently at the slightest offense and how we're such a violent generation who feel entitled to everything blah blah blah. I don't disagree with the violent reaction part, really, I mean, Columbine was kinda extreme I guess, but ya know those kids got picked on so what were they supposed to do? But who gives a fuck if Woodstock gets burned down? The writer makes it seem like our generation is burning down the hippies idea of peace and love and not that some genius kids realized that it wasn't really Woodstock, water shouldn't cost 7 dollars, and Limp Bizkit(sorry, I can't help but giggle everytime I hear that bands name)said it was ok to break stuff. I mean, it's just so clear to me. Does this guy really think that that festival meant something to anyone? Anyone who walked into that thing thinking it was about anything other than money is a fool. A total fool. I can just picture some 19 year old neo hippie chick all decked out in her hemp skirt and Grateful Dead t-shirt walking around the field twirling her arms around in weird shapes, fingers clasped together with her eyes closed, under the influence of psilocybin mushroom, spinning around in a circle, totally oblivious to the fact that Limp Bizkit has just taken the stage and that six fratboy meatheads are about to rape her in every hole in her body, break her jaw, piss on her, and leave her to be trappled by the crowd because the sheer masculine horror of the whole event has taken over. That's what Woodstock was about. Men completely out of control. Frat boy heaven. Unfortunately, those people have always been around. It has nothing to do with a generational sense of entitlement.
I want to go to bed so I'm gonna wrap this up. All I want to say is that I've read this same story at least five times over the years and I can't believe people still have the balls to refer to me with those two words. I've always worked, my parents never gave me a fucking dime and I never expected them to. I'm glad they didn't. I'm out of work right now cause I just spent two months in the hospital and I've been fortunate to have friends and family to lean on and help me out and I appreciate every bit of help that's given. I've never once felt entitled to it. I know that my friends can tell me to fuck off at any time and to go fend for myself.
But they wouldn't do that.
Cause that's what a baby boomer would do.
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